Corynne Corbett (00:13):

H Everyone.

Corynne Corbett (00:15):

I’m Corynne Corbett, editorial director from Black Health Matters. And today, I had the pleasure of speaking with Monet Farr Cole, who is the founder of New Paradigm’s grief, recovery, and Life Coach. And we’re going to talk about loss, and I’m going to ask Monet to talk about what she does because nobody can talk about what you do better than yourself. So Monet, what is it that you do?

Monet Farr Cole (00:53):

Thank you. Well, as you said, my name is Monet Far Cole, and I am a grief recovery specialist and I’m a life coach. And so I work primarily with women who are dealing with loss, whether it’s from death of a loved one, divorce and some of the other many losses that we suffer in life. And I help them to have some tools that they can use to process their grief. Women who are dealing with loss, whether it’s from death of a loved one, divorce and some of the other many losses that we suffer in life. And I help them to have some tools that they can use to process their grief. And then at the end of that, we then start working on, okay, so what does life look like now with your new set of circumstances and how do you want to move forward? And so, then I help them to actually move forward as well. And I just love what I do.

Corynne Corbett (01:35):

So a lot of times we talk about grief, but really, at the end of the day today, what we’re going to talk about is loss because I think we can all identify with loss whether we’ve lost a job, we lost our way, we’ve all lost our way at some point in our lives, right? Yes. And sometimes, it’s coping with a loss. The finding the tools to even identify that we can find the words to say that that’s lost, how we begin to even say that, to even find the words to say that I’m in a space where I’ve lost something.

Monet Farr Cole (02:37):

Yeah. And I just think we don’t understand the relationship between loss and grief. We have all experienced grief, whether we’ve experienced someone who died or not, because we grieve the things that we lose. And whether it’s a relationship, whether it’s community, whether it’s loss of faith, I mean, there’s a lot of different things that our experiences feel like a loss. And so we’ve been grieving, and we didn’t know that we were grieving. And unfortunately, when people hear grief, they think immediately about death. But if we had an open mind around grief and actually had more tools and conversation around dealing with loss, everyday loss in our lives in a healthier way, I think we have those tools early on in life so that we don’t get stuck when we find that after loss, after loss, after loss, and we haven’t been really dealing with the grief of those losses, that’s what gets us stuck.

Corynne Corbett (03:40):

So you talked about being stuck. So, how do we identify that? We’re stuck?

Monet Farr Cole (03:46):

So a lot of times we lose our verb for life. We just get a little complacent. We find that we’re isolated, we don’t enjoy the things that we used to, or there are very few things that we do that bring us any joy anymore. And so we are just going through, it feels like you’re on a hamster wheel, and day after day after day just looks the same, and you’re not quite sure how to get it back. And so a lot of times because we don’t have the tools, or we don’t have someone to say, look, you’re stuck, and you should get some help through this, we just remain complacent in that space. And it’s unfortunate because I think a lot of things happen when we’re stuck, our health starts to suffer not only our physical health, but our mental health as well. And we’re not interacting with other people. So, our brain health is even. There are a lot of things and a lot of fallout from being stuck.

Corynne Corbett (04:49):

Now that it’s interesting that you said that a lot of things happen. So you’re saying, so your mood changes. For example, you become lethargic. You said something about your brain health. So how would that change, for example?

Monet Farr Cole (05:08):

So when we’re not interacting with other people because we’re isolating, because we’re just stuck and not really putting ourselves out there anymore, then we’re not being challenged to think outside of our own thoughts. And especially if we’re just in this very small microcosm of people that we deal with, it’s incestuous. The thoughts become incestuous. Your thoughts and my thoughts are the same. So we’re not learning more. We’re not growing more so because we’re stuck. And we’ve decided that even if we don’t realize we’re stuck, that we’re okay with things as they are, we feel comfortable in that space, and we don’t even want now to try to learn more or to be with people who have different thoughts and feelings and ideas. So it’s a vicious cycle. You’re stuck, so you’re comfortable being stuck, so you stay stuck unless you have someone or you start to at least read about or find someone like me who can show you the ways in which we get stuck. And to compassionately help you through that because it’s hard. It’s hard to first recognize that you’re stuck and then to take the steps to make a change.

Corynne Corbett (06:26):

Right. So, what made you want to do this work?

Monet Farr Cole (06:33):

So, my own grief journey led me to become a grief recovery specialist. So I lost my mom in 2010, and that was devastating. When you lose your mom, it’s like no matter what the relationship, it’s like the earth beneath you just crumbles. And so I felt that. And then I also suffered the loss of basically the whole generation of her sisters and brothers. But the thing that really just took me out was the loss of my life partner. So when he died, I just really didn’t know what my future looked like and I didn’t care. And so that was an indication that I needed some help. So that’s when I found the grief recovery method, which is the method I use with my clients. And so the grief work is what got me started down this path and working with my clients to give them the tools and help them through the process over a six week time period.

(07:36):

But then I also realized that a lot of them were still stuck, even though they’ve done the work to now release the grief, they still weren’t sure how to move forward. So even though you’ve done that work, you could still get stuck. And then I’ve seen my friends and I felt stuck actually after grieving the loss of my soulmate. And I just felt like there was room for someone to be out here to help. And there are others like me, but I’m passionate about really helping people move forward into a life that they can love. Why just settle for a life that’s just okay and humdrum? Go for your dream life. Why shouldn’t we all do that? And so I really wanted to empower women to move forward and go after what they really want.

Corynne Corbett (08:28):

And why do you think that your passion is for women especially?

Monet Farr Cole (08:33):

I see myself. I do. And I think that as women, a lot of us are empathic. We feel so much and we do so much. And we’re the nurturers. We are the caretakers a lot of time. And not to disparage any men because they also have their roles, and they’ve suffered too. They really do. That’s why I’d never say I’m not open to working with men, but women are my passion to work with women through these issues. Because a lot of times, we just take the hit and keep going. We’ve been told to put big girl panties on and keep it moving. You don’t have time to sit down and feel sorry for yourself or feel bad or to feel the feels right. You don’t have time to feel all those emotions keep going. And I think that’s a very dangerous message, and I just would like to be part of the solution to help more of my sisters live life fully and boldly and

Corynne Corbett (09:33):

Big and bad. So what I like is that we’re having a conversation about loss and grief, but it’s not this too, sad overtone because the perception is when you think about grief and you think about that we’re going to have this conversation that we’re going to be sad and somber, so to speak, we’re going to be like, oh, so this is going to be this discussion, and we’re going to be talking like this, and we’re going to be really thoughtful. What we’re not talking like that, because what we’re saying is that we are trying to recover our lives in this conversation, that you’re encouraging women to find the joy again, to find purpose again, and that it is possible to do that. But one of the things that you said that really stuck with me is that six weeks was not enough. That there’s no time limit, that you can’t identify a time when the journey is over for someone.

Monet Farr Cole (11:07):

No.

Corynne Corbett (11:08):

So, can you talk a little bit more about that?

Monet Farr Cole (11:10):

Yeah, I mean, there are a couple of things I want to say about that. So first is that those five stages of grief are not applying to grievers. That was originally put out there by a psychiatrist who was working with terminally ill patients. So that whole concept of first you go through denial and then anger, and then no, that’s not, so our grief is not linear like that. And so, everyone’s journey is different. And so that’s why the six weeks, even though my program is typically six weeks long, I’ve gone almost a year out, to be quite honest with some people, because we all process our emotions differently. And so we have to be given the time to have our own unique grief journey, and we will have different emotions. You can have two siblings lose their mother and have completely different reactions to the death.

(12:05):

And then my message is more upbeat because grief is every day. It’s an everyday thing. I’m trying to bring normalcy to grief. It’s not this big dark cloud that has to be so burdensome and, like you said, so dark and so gloomy that it feels very out there to us instead of, it’s something that we all go through and especially in normalizing it for our children as well, so that then they grow up with a healthier experience and interaction with grief. And so that’s where the name of my company really came from was new paradigms, having just a new look at grief, looking at it differently, reframing our old vision of what grief is. I want to change that.

Corynne Corbett (12:57):

Yeah, I think that’s so important. So you mentioned that there are so many ways that we experience loss. Can you talk about some of the ways that we experience it?

Monet Farr Cole (13:10):

Yeah. So there are over 40 losses that we can experience through our lives and suffer grief as a result. So death of a loved one is the obvious. Divorce is another one that we are familiar with. But what about moving? You move to a new location, that’s a loss. You’re looking forward to the new place that you’re going to be, but you’re saying goodbye to friends and the neighborhood that maybe you grew up in. So that’s a loss. We have loss of friends. Sometimes our friendships come to an end, and that can be really devastating. And we don’t compare losses. My loss of a friend might hit me harder than the loss of your dad because you didn’t know him. It’s like we don’t compare losses. So they’re all things that we may grieve, we also grieve. And the losses that are intangible, like loss of faith, when something happens and we don’t understand it, and we’re questioning our faith, how could that be?

(14:12):

That goes against everything I thought I knew about my spiritual practice and my beliefs. So you got loss of faith, you have loss of safety. Things happen in our lives and we no longer feel safe, loss of health, loss of career. So there’s a lot, there’s so many things that we go through in life that make us grieve and we don’t even recognize. And so what happens is that grief gets packed on there and packed on and packed on. Then we got Samsonite luggage that we’re dragging around with us from one relationship to another or from one stage life to another. And we don’t even realize it, but it impacts us.

Corynne Corbett (14:57):

Exactly, exactly. And I have a friend who used to say, one carry on allowed, but that’s impossible. If we’re talking like this, that’s actually not feasible. If we’re talking about all the things that we experience in life, how are we carrying one carry on? If we’re actually living, we want to unpack. So we would have to then face some of the things that we’re experiencing and then take them behind some way.

Monet Farr Cole (15:39):

Yeah. How many times do we start a new relationship? And we haven’t really dealt with the grief of the past relationship. We just said, oh, move on. Get a new boyfriend. Get a good new girlfriend. Just keep going. Replace that loss with a new person. And you didn’t really grieve what you had with that person at one time. It was good. So there is some grief there no matter why you broke up. And if we don’t deal with that, we just carry it into relationship after relationship. And then it’s hard for us to show up really healthy in those new relationships.

Corynne Corbett (16:20):

So when you are working with people, what is the process? Is it one-on-one sessions? Is it writing? Is it action? Do they get homework? Talk a little bit about how the work gets done.

Monet Farr Cole (16:45):

So I have a couple of different programs. So the program to really process the grief is the grief recovery method. And that’s one-on-one coaching, but I also do groups for that as well. And there is reading and there is homework involved in that process because it’s important that we start understanding, have a new understanding of what grief is, and then we start getting new tools, new ways to look at things, new ways to process things. So it’s really important that homework piece is a crucial part of the work. And then we meet one-on-one weekly to talk about the assignments. And I give my clients however long they need. Typically it takes them about eight to nine weeks instead of the six weeks because it’s hard stuff that comes up. And while I do keep it light, as light as I can, I am a compassionate specialist.

(17:43):

And so I am very aware of what they’re going through. I’ve gone through it. So it helps that I have experienced what they have. But then I also have the coaching after the grief recovery, and those can be different. So for your listeners, I’m offering that Heal Your Heart Challenge, where it’s just the email inspiration and journal prompts just to get people started. But the bigger program would be another four week program where they actually get one-on-one coaching, as well as homework assignments for the Heal Your Heart Challenge, and then the other coaching programs a little bit longer. So I have another program that’s four to six months, and that’s really intensive. So we get into your beliefs, talk about our values, how to structure your life based on your values, and create boundaries based on your values. So we go a little bit deeper in those programs, but with everything there is an educational component, there’s always an educational component.

Corynne Corbett (18:51):

So just for those of you who are listening, Monet has given you a little tease here. She’s going to offer you a 30 day program. Tell us a little bit more about that. Now we are just giving you a little, just teased it a little bit, but we’re going to give you yes, this a little quick little public service announcement.

Monet Farr Cole (19:19):

Yes. So for your subscribers and listeners, I wanted to offer something special. So free of charge, they’ll get a 30 day program where each of those days, they’ll receive an email in their inbox with some inspiration and also a journal prompt. And so what it’s geared to, our brain works in a way that if we can get small tasks done and completed, it gives us a sense of confidence to allow us to do more work, and we see that we can be effective. So that’s what this program is really about: getting people to take these small steps towards healing their hearts and moving forward in their lives. And so the inspiration is just around giving them the encouragement to move forward and with compassion and with good information. And then the journal prompts get them involved. So now they can start taking it in, self-reflecting, and then writing it out. And that’ll take them even further on this journey.

Corynne Corbett (20:27):

So you’ll see the link right here, but then in the transcript, you’ll also see the link again and just see the link at the end of this program. Tell you again before we’re done. But as you’re listening, we just want to give you the little announcement, but we’re going to keep talking just in case. But this is a little public service announcement for those of you who are listening right in the middle of this show. So we talked about this, all the kinds of losses that we can experience in our lives, but let’s go back to now that we, let’s really talked about loss of a loved one. And because initially we didn’t want to talk about that because a lot of times people shy away from that. But now we can talk about that and that can change people’s lives really significantly. And that’s where many, many people become stuck and don’t really know what to do, particularly women, particularly women. And so let’s talk about ways how that shows up in our lives. And this could be women of all ages. This is not women of a certain age is this is women of all ages who just become lost. This is about being lost, not just lost. This is about lost, but become lost because they don’t see themselves without the other person.

Monet Farr Cole (22:36):

So there’s several things I’d really like to talk about here. And so one of them is around emotional incompleteness. So a lot of times when we have unresolved grief, it’s because we didn’t get to say something, do something. There were things that we thought wish were better or we had more of or even less of. And so because those things just get bottled in because now we can’t tell the person, even if in a divorce, it’s not emotionally safe to have those conversations, probably with your ex, because you might just get re-injured. So regardless of whether it’s death or divorce, those things are bottled up inside. So because of that, we’re just carrying that around and it’s hard to move forward. But you have those friends that just keep replaying the same story. Every time you talk to them, they’re telling you the same story, the same story. A lot of times, it’s in a breakup, and he did this, and he did that.

(23:35):

And it is like, girl, okay, we’ve been talking about this same thing, but it’s hard to move forward even with death. You were supposed to take that trip, and you never took that trip and whatever it is. And so those things absolutely get us stuck. So that’s one way we get stuck. The other thing is the people who are supporting us through grief mean the best. They have the best intentions, but unfortunately, there’s so much misinformation around grief or no information around grief that sometimes we actually injure the griever with little things. So for example, I had friends loved me dearly. I know it for sure. And they would just call and say, how are you? How are you?

(24:25):

And I’m like, I’m sad. I’m still sad. But after a while, I got tired of saying I was the sad one. I didn’t want to be negative Nancy all the time, even though I felt like saying he’s still dead. So yeah, I’m sad, I’m sad. But I started lying. I just started saying, yeah, I’m better. I’m better. And see, that gets us in the motion of not being emotionally honest anymore. And so because we’re not able to be emotionally honest, we’re living a lie. And in living that lie, we get stuck. And it happens more times than it, what’s so sad about it? And it’s done out of, there’s no mouth, bad wishes. People have the best intentions, but unfortunately, that’s one of the ways that we can get stuck. And we just become more and more detached from ourselves, from our true self because we can’t be as sad as we really want to be.

(25:36):

We can’t be not okay with life still a year later, yes, I’m still grieving. Yes, even at work, we can’t do it. People don’t understand. So that’s a big reason why we get stuck. And then the other thing is, a third thing I want to talk about is victimhood. So it’s very natural to feel like a victim when we suffer a loss. Everybody, yes, you didn’t want this to happen to you or to your loved one. The problem is, if we get stuck as victim and it’s easy to do because people expect you to be victim, then that’s another way we get stuck because we’re not empowered now to move forward, to make changes, to make a difference. And so what I encourage my clients to do is if you could take just 1% responsibility, not for what happened, but for your reaction to what happened, that’s the only thing we can really have any control over is how we react. So when the time is right, can you just take the 1% and it could be as small as you got help. Hey, that’s a move in the right direction. It’s the smallest steps. But the more they do that, the more they will and the less victim they’ll feel, and the more empowered they feel. So that’s a way out of getting stuck as well. But being victim is one of the ways we get stuck too.

Corynne Corbett (27:13):

But I’m going to go back to what you just said about the friend who calls, and then you’re like, I’m better. You can’t say to your friend you’re lying. You’re not better.

Monet Farr Cole (27:26):

See, the thing is that I know that when I’ve called my loved ones, and they’re suffering, I am waiting for them to say I’m better. I am not putting the pressure on at all. But in the back of my mind, I can’t wait until she says, yes, I’m better. And the other person can feel it. And so we want to make people comfortable without grief. We don’t want them to suffer with us, so we hide it. Yeah.

Corynne Corbett (28:07):

So it’s like a catch-22. So, the person who’s angry has to carry the burden of making other people feel better.

Monet Farr Cole (28:22):

Yes, absolutely. That’s

Corynne Corbett (28:25):

Jacked up though.

Monet Farr Cole (28:27):

It is. And it is just about not having the right information because you know what you can do instead of just saying, how are you? Do you need something? Can I just come and sit with you? You need some, Rosa, what do you need? I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to say to help, but I just want you to know I’m here. So if we had this information, then we would know not to keep asking, how are you? But we don’t have the information,

Corynne Corbett (28:58):

Right? I don’t think I ever said, how are you? I don’t. I say, how? You don’t think I say that?

Monet Farr Cole (29:12):

How are you holding up?

Corynne Corbett (29:17):

I do say, what do you need? What can I bring you?

Monet Farr Cole (29:21):

Yes, that’s perfect. That is perfect.

Corynne Corbett (29:24):

What can I bring? You need some food. What can I send? What can I bring? Yeah, I do say that. Yeah.

Monet Farr Cole (29:32):

I

Corynne Corbett (29:32):

Think when can I come by? Time

Monet Farr Cole (29:33):

Goes on six months in, a year in. I think it’s harder,

Corynne Corbett (29:44):

And I often say this to my family members: you don’t want to be an expert on death. Nobody wants to be an expert on death. And actually, everyone’s situation is different. So you don’t want to assume that what you know to be true is true for that other person.

Monet Farr Cole (30:07):

You’re right. That is key. That is key. Because I lost my mom and someone else lost their mom. We had completely different relationships with our mom. So I don’t know. All I know is how I felt. I can share that with you, but I don’t know how you feel.

Corynne Corbett (30:25):

That’s right. I do always say that to people. I was like, I don’t know how you feel. However, I will say my only advice to people this moment by moment. That’s my general advice. That’s good. Interesting. So, as people are coming through the programs and establishing a kind of new reality for themselves, what is your advice to them as they’re doing it?

Monet Farr Cole (31:09):

To have an accountability partner is really important, and to have a plan. So at the end of my programs, I definitely set up an action plan and we follow up. But it’s so important to be able to keep the promises that we make to ourselves. Because if no one else knows about it, it’s really easy to just go back to your old ways because it’s difficult to do something different. It is. So having an accountability partner is very important. Even if it’s just a friend that you say, look, I promised myself I was going to do this. I’m going to go out once a week and just meet people. I’m just going to go into public places and try to just meet some new people, whatever it is, but just share that with them that these are the things that you’re going to do so that someone can hold you accountable.

Corynne Corbett (32:02):

I think that’s really important. So the person doesn’t have to be, let’s say if you’re doing groups, they don’t have to be in that group. That could just be a friend or someone.

Monet Farr Cole (32:11):

An accountability department can be somebody. It’s whoever they want to choose. They might choose someone in the group because they’re going through very similar things. But yeah, it could be just a friend, someone who really cares about you and would call you on it. But it’s like having patience with themselves, too. It’s like having that balance of compassion and courage. So we want to have the courage to do the things that we say we’re going to do, but also being compassionate with ourselves too. So, just having a good balance.

Corynne Corbett (32:47):

And in your program, are there steps? So if I start in one program, could I go to a next program? Could I go to a next program? I feel like if I’m in a situation where I’m trying to come to terms with a loss of some sort, I may need more tools and more help than just one program, for example. So, if there were more opportunities for help, it’d be nice to know they’re there.

Monet Farr Cole (33:29):

So I have a tier because I realized that my clients are in different places. So I actually have a free unstuck event. So, it’s a free webinar. The next one is actually next Saturday at 12 June 15th if anyone wants to tune in. But I have the free one. So that starts to get you thinking about, wow, so that’s what stuck looks like. I think I’m stuck. So then we go into the Heal Your Heart challenge. So the one I’m doing with your listeners is abbreviated to just the 30 days, but I have a more extended program, but that’s still another tiny step because that’s a short program for just four weeks. And you start getting the one-on-one coaching, you do some journal prompts and you have the lessons. So that’s another step into the process. And then after that, then we have the untangled program. And so that’s the four to six-month program, and that’s more intensive. So that’s when you’re really feeling, okay, I really want to dive in and really make some changes in my life. And so then you would go there. But I did recognize that not everyone is ready to just go deep dive, right? Sometimes, we need those baby steps.

Corynne Corbett (34:46):

Absolutely. So what advice would you give to people who just want to dip a toe in?

Monet Farr Cole (35:02):

So if they just want to dip a toe in, there’s a couple of things they can do. I have conversations with everyone before I start working with them, and sometimes it’s just a conversation to have someone talk to you that understands what you may be going through to maybe give you some ideas of some of the things you could do, whether they’re my programs or whether they’re something else, then to at least get that going. The other thing I think is really good is the unstuck event. Because it is a free webinar on a Saturday, you’re in your home. It’s really easy. You just tune in for an hour, and then you see it might give you some indication of where you are in your process, whether you need to maybe do some grief work, you could do that too, or whether you’re really ready to move forward.

Corynne Corbett (35:56):

Right. Okay. That makes sense. That makes sense. Is there anything, excuse me, that you think we’ve missed in this discussion?

Monet Farr Cole (36:17):

I don’t think so. I think we did such a good job of covering everything. Thank you for being perfectly suited for this conversation. I really appreciate it. But I think we really covered a lot. I think we covered the grief as well as moving forward. And it’s important to distinguish the two and to be able to have tools for each of those, because the tools are a little bit different, but they definitely help. And the only other thing, I guess,

Corynne Corbett (36:49):

Go ahead.

Monet Farr Cole (36:51):

The only other thing we didn’t really talk too much about was emotional honesty. And that’s a big one for me too. Oh,

Corynne Corbett (36:56):

Let’s talk about that emotion. Emotion. Let’s talk about emotions.

Monet Farr Cole (37:00):

Honest is so important. If you’re not going to be honest with the people around you, at least be honest with yourself. And so I have what I call a five-step gut check. And so it’s every morning you wake up, and you’re like, okay, how am I feeling? Okay, so today I’m feeling afraid. Okay, so now the next step is, okay, why am I feeling that way? Why am I feeling afraid? Well, doing some new things. This is scary to me to try new things. Okay, so then the next step is, so are there some beliefs attached to that? So maybe I have some limiting beliefs around my ability to be different.

(37:48):

Then the next step would be, so is there anything I can do about it or no? First, is it true? Is it true? Is it true that I’m limited? No, it’s not true. And then you want to ask yourself, is there anything you can do about it? And yes, I can do more with my prayer meditation. I can read and do things that, I can take these small steps that will show me that I’m making progress, and I can build my confidence. And then, so those are the steps in that gut check. But I think it’s just really important. And to be able to name the different emotions. Don’t just always settle for angry. Really dig deep and figure out what it is you’re feeling, why you’re feeling it. And then basically, is there something you can do about it? And if not, it’s about acceptance, right? Accepting that this is just what is and having some

Corynne Corbett (38:53):

Peace. And you do that in the morning.

Monet Farr Cole (38:55):

In the morning, every morning. Just check in, check-in, just get into the habit. It’s a good habit to start really understanding our emotions. Our emotions are here to tell us something. They don’t just exist. They’re here to tell us something. And there are no bad emotions. They just are. So, if we’re jealous and envious, it’s not bad. It just is. Now, what you do about it could be bad. That’s where the good and bad could come in.

Corynne Corbett (39:30):

So for everyone listening today, this is something that we all can do, whether we have experienced loss or not, this is a five step process that we all need to make a habit starting tomorrow. That is something we could take away right now. So, let’s do the five-step gut check. Let’s start making that a habit right now that is a takeaway for us. All right? Now, the other thing is that the 30-day challenge is something that we could all do ourselves. Whether we’ve experienced loss or not, that is the other thing we could all do. So, Monet, please tell us again about the 30-day challenge that you’re offering.

Monet Farr Cole (40:20):

Us. So it’s a 30-day Heal Your Heart challenge. And what we’ll do is the link will take you to a page on my website where you can put your name and your email address. And so for 30 days after you subscribe, you’ll get an email in your inbox with an inspirational message as well as a journal prompt to help you start reflecting and looking inward to decide how you can move through that inspiration message and how you can apply it to yourself. And it just allows you to make these small steps forward to create a life you love.

Corynne Corbett (41:03):

All right? And who doesn’t want a life that they love?

Monet Farr Cole (41:07):

Yes, we all do

Corynne Corbett (41:09):

Think about that. Who does not want a life that they love? So Monet, for our call, I cannot thank you enough for being here with me.

Monet Farr Cole (41:20):

Thank you so much for having me. It’s my pleasure.

Check out Monet Farr Cole’s Events Page for additional upcoming sessions.

The post BHM Interview Monet Farr Cole on Navigating Loss, Emotional Honesty and Creating a Life You Love appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Check out their chat (and the transcript is also below).

Roslyn Young-Daniels (00:15):

So listen, Mr. Rucker. Yes ma’am. What does Black health mean to you?

Lamman Rucker (00:20):

Oh, that’s such a huge question, but really it means everything. It means being, well, it means it’s beyond feeling good. It’s being well, and I think that’s the difference we’ve gotten in the habit of just making sure something hurts. Let me do what I can to feel better. But the problem’s not solved. We don’t really know even where the issue may come from. We know it hasn’t gone away, but we don’t really want all the information because then the truth really forces us to do something different. So, just for me, it’s really my hope that we get beyond the short-term gratification of how we’ve defined black health and really understand the long-term, not just definition, but the long-term value of wellness.

Roslyn Young-Daniels (01:19):

What inspires you?

Lamman Rucker (01:21):

I don’t even know how I found myself here, to be honest with you, but at the same time, of course I would. How can you not? Because I’m a human being, first of all. I live in, I got a body, I have a mind, I have a heart. And even I talk a lot about even just being an artist. I’m always navigating the worlds of what’s happening with other people. Then, as an educator, my life has been committed to children and families and the community. And then there’s countless stories and testimonies of what it means to be well, and you know what unhealthy families look like. You know what malnourished children look like and how all these things are interconnected. How unhealthy environments contribute to us being mentally not well contribute to everything from all the other factors that we can think of. So when you look at cycles of violence, they’re all typically reflections of desperation or fear or other deficiencies that exist.

(02:38):

So that’s something that I was never comfortable with, just being okay with. So one of the things I was taught, one of the things that just I learned, and I don’t even know if this language was given to me, but I just always felt like it was more important to be part of the solution and not part of the problem. So whatever ways I can contribute to how we move the needle forward and heal ourselves, there’s only so much healing of one another that we can do, but we can encourage, facilitate, and model. We can provide information, resources, encouragement, inspiration, motivation, and information. So to me, how many jobs is that? And I’ve just always found my way into that space. But as an actor, artist, educator, activist, entrepreneur, philanthropist, all the adjectives or labels I can put in front or behind my name at some point, it’s just about living in your own humanity and connecting to the humanity in other people.

(03:53):

And I don’t know, maybe even as a little boy, we all want to be superheroes. So, this is my way of saving lives. This is my way of putting an L on my chest, not Superman, just being myself, right? This is my version of being incredible Hulk, or being Spiderman or Batman or all the things you imagine as a child. You want to be part of what’s good. You want to, and I really, even philosophically, I think everybody should figure out what is your superpower? You have it you. There’s something about you that’s special, and that’s supposed to impact some other public and the greater good. And I think the sooner you figure that out and the sooner you even find what that is for you and about you, then you can’t wait to give it away. We can’t take it with us. And if you do, it’s gone once it’s gone.

(04:54):

Unless you give it away to everybody you possibly can, then it never dies. That love, positive energy, healing, teaching, whatever that is, it keeps going. And that’s what’s got us this far. That’s true on this continent. We’ve been dealing with a whole lot of stuff. There’s no way we’d be here without those same elements. So I’m just doing what’s already been done before. It just happens to be on a loop, maybe more public platforms, but I’m living the life and doing the things that my ancestors have been doing for countless, countless, countless years. So I’m just continuing to just do my part in whatever way I can. Best ways. I know how.

Roslyn Young-Daniels (05:32):

That’s wonderful. One last question. When we have these types of events, women make up about 80% of our audience,

Lamman Rucker (05:40):

I didn’t notice.

Roslyn Young-Daniels (05:43):

What can you personally say to the brothers out there to make them be more proactive about their health? To have them show up and engage more in health services processes and in their access to care?

Lamman Rucker (06:00):

Well, that’s one. Hey brothers, all the women are here.

Lamman Rucker (06:06):

Alright. Eight to 80 are here. No, but no, but at the same time, more seriously, I think, and this is the kind of work I’m even actively doing now, I’ve got a mental health tour where one of the topics that always comes up is men being honest about what’s really going on with them. And I think that that’s something that you all can all help us with. Men can do that not only for themselves, but for one another and not just, oh baby, you need to go to the doctor. But it’s that a lot of how we’ve all been socialized, and again, no disrespect is that the woman’s body is the only body that’s important. Our bodies aren’t important. Our job is the work ourselves to death for you, but never to prioritize our own health, our own wellness. And some women actually perpetuate that as opposed to no son, father, husband, brother, daddy, uncle, whatever.

(07:06):

Your body is just as important as mine. Just because you can’t bear children doesn’t make you any less valuable. I need you. I want you here. Do this together. When y’all go get checked, take him with you. And similarly, like I said, hey, come. These shouldn’t be things we do in segments or fragmenting the household. Oh, okay. Oh, there’s a health summit. Okay, alright baby, you go here, you go to that. I’m going to go over here and do this. No, let’s do this. Right? This is a family event. This isn’t a women’s event. And even when it is, there’s still information at these women’s events that benefits us. I’m learning all the time when I’m in the green room, I’m learning all the time. I’m listening. I was having a conversation last night and I’m learning about women coming into their womanhood as teenagers and preteens stuff I’ve never heard.

(08:02):

As long as I’ve been doing this work, as much as I’ve even been involved in educated in reproductive health and working with young girls and families and so forth, I’m learning new stuff every day. So there’s so much to learn. If we stay engaged and we make sure that we are actively participating and not feeling like we’re on the sidelines, this is just as important to us. Even knowing about you all and knowing what’s going on with you is helpful to us. It helps us love you more. It helps us understand you even when we don’t understand you most of the time, or no, I’m saying even when we don’t know what’s going on, there’s ways for us to know and learn and understand that if we’re part of the conversation. Instead, we often see ourselves as doing two different things. Oh, that’s for them.

(08:50):

This is for us. We forget that. However different our bodies are, our bodies are also very much the same. Our hearts are the same. We might go about how we communicate a little differently, but we’re still often asking for the same needs. It’s the same conversation that’s being had. We might just be having it a little differently. So we got a lot of stuff we have to work through. But there’s also ways that some of this can maybe speak to us a little bit more. How is this experience maybe targeted to women in ways that it’s not actually targeted and market to men? Sometimes that happens even unbeknownst to you. So there’s some of that. I think there are things we can do differently, but a lot of it is just encouraging men to tell the truth and acknowledge how well you really are. Like you said, go to the doctor.

(09:41):

The truth doesn’t stop being true just because you don’t go and find out the truth. Our heart health, our bodies, our minds, all that’s important. Don’t wait until something’s a problem before you go to the doctor. Go long before any problems ever show up. So these problems can be prevented. And if we really want to take care of our families, if we really want to provide and show up and protect and all these things, we can’t do that if we’re not here. We can’t do that if we’re not healthy or well inside and out. So you can look as good as you want to look. You have as many muscles as you want, but if you’re not really well, we’re not well. Our families aren’t well, and again, those things perpetuate if we’re not careful. So there are numerous different things, but much of it is just staying connected. Keep us in the conversation, talk to us, and love and encourage us to participate in this in support of you and solidarity with you, but also for our own good.

Roslyn Young-Daniels (10:45):

Awesome. Alright. Thank you, Lamman.

The post Lamman Rucker On Advocating For Health, Wellness and Black Men appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Other famous athletes who have asthma include NBA All-Star Dennis Rodman and NBA Hall-of-Famer Isaiah Thomas.

Black Americans bear a significant burden of having asthma. Dr. Hawkins provides expert insight into identifying triggers and managing the condition, highlighting the importance of education, empowerment, and knowledge.

What is asthma and how do we recognize it?

It’s very likely that you or someone you know has or has been impacted by asthma. It is a common disease that affects the lungs. Asthma is more common in the African American community and we have more severe types.

You have two lungs and their job is to get oxygen into the blood and tissues so the body can get rid of carbon dioxide. To better understand the impact asthma has on your body, think of your lungs as a tree. The tree trunk is your windpipe and the tree branches are the bronchioles that allow air into the lungs and blood.

If you have asthma, your “tree branches” become narrow from inflammation which can prevent air from circulating in your lungs properly. This is what causes your asthma symptoms. Some symptoms may include cough, mucus production, chest pain and pressure, and shortness of breath with rest or with physical activity.

When your symptoms flare up, this can result in an asthma exacerbation which can impact your normal daily activities. Asthma flares are one of the top reasons why people may miss school or work. Flares can also impact your emotional and mental well-being. You can help prevent flares by recognizing your triggers.

What are common asthma triggers?

Triggers are the things that make you more likely to experience a flare. Everyone is different so it’s important to recognize what your specific triggers are. Knowing your triggers can help you avoid them and use prevention as a treatment for your condition.

Some common triggers include airborne triggers such as air pollution, cold air, and seasonal changes. Common allergens that may also be triggers include trees, grass, pollen, dust mites, animals/pets, cockroaches, and household cleaners. Asthma can even be triggered by illnesses such as colds or viruses. These triggers can be difficult to control and avoid depending on your environment.

Some triggers that you may have a little more control over include exercise and emotional stressors such as stress, anxiety, trauma, and exposure to certain medications.

Identifying your triggers can be challenging and some triggers may be easily confused with other conditions such as seasonal allergies. Being aware of potential triggers is a great first step in taking action and understanding your specific triggers.

“Knowing your body allows you to control your asthma so it doesn’t control you.”

How has allergic asthma impacted the Black community?

Many of us have other high-risk health problems such as diabetes in addition to asthma. If your asthma flares, it may cause your other conditions to flare which can lead to poor long-term outcomes. It is important to understand your body and how asthma impacts you, especially as African Americans who are at higher risk for most chronic health conditions.

Take Action!

Dr. Hawkins provided useful and practical tips for managing your asthma.

• Take control by educating yourself and others about asthma
• Use what you learn to help take care of yourself and the ones you care about
• Communicate your expectations to your provider
• Collaborate with your healthcare team to develop an action plan
• Help your provider by engaging in your care because medicine is not magic

Start the conversation. Advocate for yourself. Discuss your concerns with your healthcare provider, and collaborate to come up with a plan to manage your asthma.

This session was sponsored by Genentech

Presented by: 

Randy W. Hawkins MD 

Audra J. Johnson, PhD, Medical Science Liaison 

The post Having Trouble Managing Your Asthma? appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Roland S. Martin recalled how former Raiders player Elijah Alexander succumbed to the disease after being dismissed by healthcare professionals at the Black Health Matters Fall 2023 Health Summit & Expo. “He kept complaining about his feet hurting. The doctors kept saying, ‘Oh, it’s from your career.’ He eventually died of this very disease,” said the journalist, author, and media personality.

Advocacy can make a difference in how multiple myeloma is discovered and treated.

Martin moderated a discussion with Denise N. Bronner, PhD Director Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in Cánical Trials Immunology Portfolio Jansen and Marsha Calloway-Campbell, J.D. Director, Black Myeloma Health, HealthTree Foundation at the summit. They discussed health disparities associated with this form of cancer. The trio was introduced by actor and producer James Pickens (Grey’s Anatomy).

Calloway-Campbell’s husband was misdiagnosed with arthritis in 2017. He had multiple myeloma. She emphasized the importance of self-advocacy. “Nobody’s going to take care of you like you, not even your family, so you have to know what signs and symptoms are of many different diseases,” said Calloway-Campbell.

How can multiple myeloma be misdiagnosed?

Myeloma lesions were mistaken for arthritis on the scans of Calloway-Campbell’s husband. Dr. Bronner was forced to advocate for her father, who suffered from multiple myeloma when healthcare workers interrogated him. They assumed he was taking drugs when he arrived with fluids on his lungs. Without her stepping in, they might not have asked the right questions. Eventually, they got “lucky” with a cardiologist who closely examined the bloodwork and realized that multiple myeloma was a possibility.

Martin cited how medical professionals can stubbornly refuse to set aside their assumptions.

“You have medical folks who say, who are you? I’m the expert,” he said. “I know what’s better.”

He raised the stereotypes of the angry Black person that patients have to fight against when facing this type of challenge.”

Prominent figures of the past are frequently used to illustrate the problem of systemic racism in the medical field. “They always talk about prejudice or racism in a historical sense,” said Dr. Bronner. “They’ll bring up Tuskegee, right? They’ll bring up Henrietta Lacks, but I said this is persistent; it’s been here, it’s ingrained in there. You have a lot of doctors who continue to have these certain ideas about you because you’re Black.”

How can medical misconceptions contribute to misdiagnosis?

Pain is a symptom of multiple myeloma, causing potential friction for patients subject to the horrors of medical racism.

“It’s a notion that Black people have a higher tolerance of pain,” added Dr. Bronner. “That’s also an issue.”

“Myeloma is a journey in and of itself, and when you add the disparities that now we’re talking about, we’re not seen, we’re not heard,” said Calloway-Campbell.

The treatment experienced by Dr. Bronner’s father was not rare. According to the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America (PNAS), “Black Americans are systematically undertreated for pain relative to white Americans.”

Calloway-Campbell described how Black patients are treated when seeking help for their pain. “Bone pain, and it’s often in your back. It’s one of the symptoms, so when you present to the ER, that’s what it is,” she said before listing a question Black patients are frequently met with. “What narcotics are you trying to get?”

Dr. Bronner recommended questioning the doctors you’re dealing with. Calloway-Campbell agreed. “Doctors are not proactive in doing the testing to see if multiple myeloma is a possibility,” she said. “When you look at many medical textbooks, we’re not there,” Dr. Bronner added. “When you look at some of the medical research that’s out there, the papers that have been published, we are not there, so you have to say to yourself what their knowledge is based on.”

Take Action!

The session provided valuable and practical tips for advocating for yourself if you suspect you’re experiencing symptoms associated with multiple myeloma.

• The acronym CRAB indicates four common symptoms you might want to consider when deciding if you should ask to be tested for multiple myeloma. C stands for high calcium, R stands for high renal urinal counts, A stands for anemia, and B stands for bone pain.
• Pushing on your doctors can result in better results. Advocate vocally and in writing. They are the experts in medicine, but you are the expert in you.
•  Pay attention to your bloodwork and track any change in the numbers to arrive armed with facts.

This session was presented by Janssen.

The panel:

Roland S. Martin, Journalist, Author, and Media Personality

Denise N. Bronner, PhD, Director Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in Clinical Trials Immunology Portfolio Janssen

Marsha Calloway-Campbell, J.D. Director, Black Myeloma Health, HealthTree Foundation

The post My Word, My Health: Addressing Health Disparities in Multiple Myeloma appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Black Americans are at a significant disadvantage when it comes to kidney failure and trying to find a donor. In this session, Dr. Feyikemi Osundina, Director of US Patient Advocacy at Sanofi, outlines the Black community’s challenges regarding kidney transplants and ways to overcome them. And Patient Advocates share their transplant experiences.

Educating yourself on the issues involved is an essential first step. But more than half of our community, 57%, don’t fully understand basic health information. A variety of factors have contributed to this, including a lack of trust in the system due to historical mistreatment, uncertainty about how to communicate with doctors, and cultural barriers that may prevent you from speaking out.

What is Kidney Disease?

The American Kidney Fund reports that 37 million Americans are living with kidney disease. Of those, 807,000 are living with kidney failure. (That means they can no longer filter waste products from your blood). This is a permanent, irreversible condition that requires dialysis.

• Symptoms of kidney failure include:
• Weight loss and poor appetite
• Swollen ankles, feet, or hands – as a result of water retention (edema)
• Shortness of breath
• Tiredness
• Blood in your urine
• Increased need to pee – particularly at night
• Difficulty sleeping (insomnia)
• Itchy skin
• Muscle cramps
• Feeling sick
• Headaches
• Erectile dysfunction in men

A kidney transplant is necessary for people who are in the end stage of renal disease (ESRD). So, it is likely that you know someone who has either had a kidney transplant or needs one. But, if you think that you may be at risk for kidney disease, you should contact your physician immediately. The earlier it is detected, the better your chances are of stopping it from progressing to kidney failure.

A Kidney Transplant May Have Risks

Nerve damage. While 95% of transplanted kidneys are still functioning a year after the procedure, there may still be risks involved with the procedure. According to the National Health Service, 5 out of every 100 patients suffer nerve damage during the procedure. The nerves around the wound, or front of the thigh of the kidney transplant, are usually the ones that are damaged. However, there is a possibility that it will heal on its own.

Heart problems. Following the procedure, a blockage in the blood supply to the heart can occur. If you have a history of heart issues, talk to your physician about having your heart function assessed before you are added to the transplant list.

Blood sugar management. If you have been diagnosed with diabetes before a transplant, there is a possibility that your blood sugar will be more difficult to control after the procedure. If this happens, work with your physician to make any necessary medication adjustments.

It is Difficult For Us to Find Living Donors

Our community is at a severe disadvantage when it comes to successfully finding a kidney donor. There are over 100,000 people on the waitlist to receive a kidney transplant, and 30% of them are black. Despite the overwhelming number of black Americans who are on the waitlist for a kidney transplant, we are six times less likely to receive a transplant from a living donor. Outsourcing for a kidney transplant will require some self-advocating. Some ways to advocate for yourself include switching doctors and getting second or third opinions.

We are six times less likely to receive a transplant from a living donor.

The Transplant Experience

Most people are hesitant about becoming a kidney donor. It is a significant surgery to remove one of your body’s vital organs. However, the procedure does have a 95% success rate. The chances of a malfunction during the procedure are extremely rare.

As with all major operations, there is a recovery period involved after the transplant. But Reggie, one of the patient advocates on the panel who became a donor, said the process is almost seamless.

“As far as recovery, it is usually just a mild soreness. I took pain medicine the day after surgery, but after that, I just weaned myself off of it. You feel fatigued for about a week,” Reggie said. “After that, I started feeling normal in about a week or two. I was out four weeks before I went back to work.”

Reggie donated his kidney to his wife, Alana. It was her second transplant after her brother donated his to her when she was still a teenager. Though it was not easy needing to have a second procedure as an adult, Alana says it was worth it.

“After my transplant, I was able to move the way I like to move, travel, and get back to my catering business.”

“One of the promises I made with my husband, with the kidney transplant, was that we would have another baby. Our kids are 16 years apart, but our daughter will be five this month. We had a healthy baby girl. Mommy is healthy after my second kidney transplant. So, living life on your terms is possible.”

This session was presented by Sanofi.

The Panelists:

Feyikemi Osundina, PharmD, MS

Alana H, Patient Advocate

Reggie C, Patient Advocate

The post Living Life Beyond Dialysis: What You Should Know About Living Donor Kidney Transplant appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Denise N. Bronner, PhD Director Diversity, Equity and Inclusion at Jansen, and JoBaris D. Swain, MD, MPH Medical Executive, Cardiovascular & MetabolismJanssen Scientific Affairs, ILC of Johnson & Johnson discussed the need for “True Representation In Cardio Research” at the 2023 Black Health Matters Summit. They were introduced by actor and producer James Pickens (Grey’s Anatomy). According to a study published by the National Kidney Foundation, “rates for African Americans remained 20% higher for heart disease and 40% higher for stroke.”

Another study published by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that “African Americans were 30 percent more likely to die from heart disease than non-Hispanic whites.”

How has a lack of accurate representation in cardio research impacted the Black community?

“Representation is very important,” said Dr. Swain, noting that biological differences are not accounted for when studies are not diverse. Dr. Bronner shared how crucial it is for Black people to be considered in the planning phases of treatment development. She declared that exclusion from the baseline can result in disparities in “efficacy” and “effectiveness.” “The only time that we get included is when the drug has already been approved,” she said. “That’s when you start to see the adverse events or side effects starting to come.” Inclusion at that stage precludes preventive safety measures in some instances. “Things could have been identified if we were being pulled into the study,” she continued. Dr. Swain remarked on the lack of available training materials for diagnosing psoriasis on Black skin. Studies have found that this chronic and complex autoimmune disease is associated with many cardio patients. According to Cureus, “Many studies have shown an increased risk of cardiovascular morbidity in patients with psoriasis.”

What are some myths associated with cardio care?

“Many of us have probably heard that cardiovascular disease only happens in old people, and a lot of times, you know, when you go to certain screening events, they’ll, you know, start looking at people 65 and older. However, we’ve now learned that cardiovascular disease can affect individuals of all ages, even children, so we have to be mindful of our activity, diet, and exercise,” he continued.

“A second myth that often we have is that if I don’t have symptoms, I have a healthy heart,” said Dr. Swain, who described witnessing the sudden onset of severe symptoms during a telehealth session.

“We have patients who come into the emergency department, and they’ve been completely healthy in their mind. They’ve not had chest pain or any other side effects or symptoms, and all of a sudden, they come in, and they may have gone and had their blood pressure checked. Then they start having chest pain, and then they realize that they’ve had a full-on myocardial infarction, and often it comes as a complete surprise,” Dr. Swain continued. The older man clutching his left arm in sudden distress is the troupe most people are familiar with when they think of a heart attack. But that popular image is not the whole story of how cardio events occur.

“We often think that men are the only ones who have cardiovascular disease, and we understand men often are at greater risk, but cardiovascular disease affects men and women,” said Dr. Swain.

He revealed that these events in women can be associated with jaw pain. They can also appear to be “asymptomatic or atypical.”

Swain pointed out how cultural norms can convince Black women to ignore symptoms that might be their overall cardio health. “As a culture, you know, we grow up with aches and pains, and it’s straightforward for us to say, oh, I woke up like this, and kind of, you know, write it off as something that’s a part of our natural everyday experience.

Take Action!

• The session provided valuable and practical tips for managing your cardiovascular health.
• Take control by educating yourself and others about cardiovascular issues.
• Familiarize yourself with the myths associated with cardio so you can fight misinformation
•  Don’t assume the ache or pain you are feeling is normal.

As Dr. Swain said, “If you feel something, say something.” Start the conversation. Ask the questions. Listen to your body. Contact your healthcare provider and fight for your cardiovascular health.

This session was presented by Janssen

The Panelists: Denise N. Bronner, PhD Director Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in Clinical Trials – Immunology Portfolio Jansen

JoBaris D. Swain, MD, MPH Medical Executive, Cardiovascular & Metabolism Janssen Scientific Affairs, LLC of Johnson & Johnson

The post Healing Hearts: True Representation in Cardio Research appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Learn about the triggers and symptoms of this uncomfortable yet misdiagnosed condition in Black and Brown communities.

Sponsored by Regeneron

The post Black Skin Myths Busted appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Sanjay S. Shukla, M.D., M.S. President and CEO aTyr Pharma, Chidinma Chime-Melton MD, MBA, FCCP, CPHQ, Assistant Professor of Medicine, UCLA, and Andrea Wilson, a sarcoidosis patient and advocate, discussed the fight against sarcoidosis at the Fall Black Health Summit.

How does sarcoidosis impact the Black community?

“What is really striking here, though, is that it’s so prevalent in our community,” said Dr. Chime-Melton. She cited the alarming statistics about the disease. “In the African-American community, it’s three times as common, so if you’re looking at the epidemiology of it, they tell you, oh sarcoidosis is about 10 in 100,000 patients will have it but within our community, it’s 34 In 100,00 patients. So, it’s three times as common,” she continued.

Dr. Chime-Melton paused and invited the audience into the conversation, taking an impromptu survey of the people in the room. She asked who knew someone with the disease, causing a barrage of hands to go into the air. The anecdotal evidence supported a theory she had been harboring. “I believe firmly that it’s highly under-reported,” she said.

Race is not the only indicator that someone can be at an increased risk for sarcoidosis.

“It’s more common in women as well,” Dr. Chime-Melton revealed before explaining that it is “twice as common in women.” Black people are not just diagnosed more often. They also have poorer outcomes, according to Dr. Chime-Melton. “We have a higher prevalence of the disease, but it doesn’t end there, unfortunately,” she said. “When we do have the disease, we also have worse forms. So we see more breathlessness. We see more shortness of breath. We see more coughs and progression to the fibrosis to the scar and in the lungs.” .

Wilson shared her personal experiences during the painful journey towards arriving at a diagnosis. “I have walked the challenging path that many of you sarcoidosis patients are on right now,” she said. The symptoms that led her on a long path to being diagnosed appeared in 1986.

“I had a nagging cough, fatigue, and unexplained weight loss,” she added. She learned she had sarcoidosis after several misdiagnoses.

She now had the needed information after being subject to a series of irrelevant treatments. “I was finally thrilled that I was diagnosed with something and that it was not all in my head.” Wilson was subject to the medical gaslighting that many women experience. Her diagnosis offered her vindication. “It was not my menses. It was not the fact that I was a young 20-some-year-old woman and that it was stress which I had been told,” Wilson continued.

Steroids are not the only answer.

Wilson was prescribed prednisone, a steroid with significant side effects, including irritability, extra hair growth, fatigue, rampant sweating, and diminished libido. She worked with her caregiver to decrease the role of medicine in her care. “With my doctor’s guidance, we’ve created a multifaceted treatment plan to reduce my reliance on prednisone,” she said. Dr. Shukla expressed a distaste for the overwhelming use of steroids to manage sarcoidosis. He labeled them as “toxic therapy” and described witnessing the dismissal of the need for new treatment methods by executives. “Big companies or even you know investors, they would say, ‘It’s not that bad of a disease, those patients can just take steroids,’ and that just really bothered me,” he said. Dr. Shukla was impacted by seeing “what steroids can do to someone’s life.” “In 50 years in the medical textbooks, they’re going to say this was poison,” he declared.

Sarcoidosis impacts more than the lungs. “90% of people have it in the lungs, but then you appear in multiple other organ systems. It can affect the eyes, lead to strokes, and the skin,” explained Dr. Chime-Melton.

Take Action

• Persistent coughs are cause for concern. Request a chest X-ray if you suspect you have sarcoidosis.
• Talk to your doctor about alternative healing methods. Nutrition can make a difference in a patient’s quality of life, and you have the right to seek information.
• Ask questions about the side effects of any treatment therapies and stay current on your options.

This session was presented by aTyr Pharma

Panelists:

Sanjay S. Shukla, M.D., M.S. President and CEO aTyr Pharma

Chidinma Chime-Melton MD, MBA, FCCP, CPHQ Assistant Professor of Medicine, UCLA

Andrea Wilson Sarcoidosis Patient and Advocate

The post Sarcoidosis: It’s More Than Just a Nagging Cough appeared first on Black Health Matters.

The post Understanding Small Cell Lung Cancer Are You At Risk appeared first on Black Health Matters.

The full transcript of the session is below:

Wendy Racquel Robinson (00:03): One thing that I am excited about is this next section, and I think it’s going to be something we all need to lend our ears, eyes, and hearts to. It’s very important, in The Invisible Ache, Black Men identify their pain and reclaim their power. That is what this section is about, and your [mental wellbeing matters. The title of this session is called, like I said, The Invisible Ache, Black Men Identifying Their Pain and Reclaiming their Power.

It is also the title of a new book by our next panelist, Mr. Courtney. B Vance is a Tony and two-Time Emmy Award-winning actor, producer, and Arthur in this Harvard Scholar, as well as a Yale School of Drama trained actor is always a powerful presence. From the theatrical boards to the silver screen,

Dr. Robin I. Smith is a licensed psychologist. She’s a media personality. She’s a bestselling author, keynote speaker, and ordained minister. Hallelujah. As a host of Sirius XMs, the Dr. Robin Show, Dr. Robin addresses today’s most pressing societal changes through fearless truth-telling. I think I will settle down while everybody settles down because this is a very important session that I want us to give our eyes, ears, and hearts to.

01:37): Thank you for moderating this discussion, Mr. Tony Cornelius. Tony Cornelius is a veteran television producer and founder of the Don Cornelius Foundation, which focuses on suicide prevention and awareness, and we are so excited to welcome this distinguished panel for this vital discussion. So please join me in welcoming these panelists. Thank you so much.

Tony Cornelius (02:02): Well, first I want to say I’m honored to be here. I was invited here last year for the first time, and Black Health Matters is real and I am absolutely pleased to have these two talented people on stage with me to be exact. There’s a book here called The Invisible Ache by Courtney Vance and Dr. Robin l Smith. And this is a fantastic exploration on Black Men Identifying Their Pain and Their Power, Reclaiming It. And when I first saw this book, this is exactly what’s happening with me as well. I have an invisible wake-up right now. My father passed in February 2012 of suicide, and that invisible ache follows me to this very day. I’d like to start by asking Dr. Robin and Courtney about this book’s title, the Invisible Ache. I’m really interested to know what that’s really about.

Dr. Robin Smith (03:29): We talked a lot. Courtney, my team, and I talked about the best topic, and people had different ideas. I was clear that there is like a soul ache that Black men often carry, human beings carry it, but Black men in particular carry this ache that no one can see, and that if we see it, sometimes we see it through crime or we see it through drug use, but there’s no language it that says, I hurt. I hurt. And I wonder if gun violence would go down. Not only poverty [is a huge part of it, racism is a part of it, but what’s also a huge part of it is if I can’t cry when I hurt, when little girls fall and we pick them up and we kiss their knee and tell them it’s okay, and little boys fall and we tell ’em they better not cry or we’ll give them something to cry about. And then as women, we get connected with these men and we shame and blame them. And I’m not shaming and blaming women, but I am saying that Black men have been stripped of their divine birthright and they hurt. And so Courtney and I are here almost like a principal would give a permission slip to say, not only do you hurt, but we see you and we see your ache.

Tony Cornelius (05:38): It’s always interesting to meet someone who identifies with suicide prevention and it’s very hard to talk about. I didn’t realize that Courtney had family members, particularly his father, as my father committed suicide. Suicide died by suicide, died by suicide. [I’m sorry. No, no. Don’t be sorry. There is a way to say this. We’re just learning. We’re all learning. There is a way to say this and we have an instant connection. An instant connection. And my question to Corey is, Courtney is how are you reclaiming your life back behind that? I mean, we talked about talking to someone. I mean personally, I have to admit, my father passed in 2012 and I haven’t had any therapy. I used my family as my therapy. My church is my therapy. My mother has my therapy, but never gone into a real serious conversation with someone about it. And it’s very, I’m almost afraid to do it. (

06:48): I know it’s hard work. It’s very, very hard work. So Courtney, I want to know how you were able to get through this. My mother. My mother, once I went home with my sister to take care of my mother’s affairs in order. And when we finished a month later, my mother said, now, when you and your sister go back to your cities, I want you to find a therapist. I’m going to find somebody here in Detroit, but when you go back to New York and to DC find somebody and we’re going to break this thing. And she gave me the license. And I know we don’t have a lot of time, but the thing that was most important to me to realize is that I’m worth it.

(07:30): At 30 years old, I had gone as far as I could go with the achievement track. I had gone to Detroit Country Day school with my scholarship and did everything that was at that school for 16 hours a day for four years, three sports for four years. Every club you could join, I joined and then went to Harvard and did that thing, went to Yale Drama School and did that thing and went to New York and did that thing, was on top of the world with six degrees of separation on Broadway. And I got the call from my mother, hysterical that your father killed himself. So all of that achievement stuff didn’t work no more. Didn’t nobody care about that mess. And it was time for me [to take the time and figure out me. My mother ped up on the floor and said to my sister, and I don’t even know how to turn on the VCR, y’all may not know, but Tony, they may not know what, it’s a young crowd out there, Dr. Robin, what are we going to do with him?

(08:59): Okay, we’ll leave that alone. We’ll, okay. The journey of finding someone for me was difficult. As you said, it’s work. But when I finally put my Laura Lenny actress, you may know her, she was in the cast with six degrees with us. And when I came back to the show, everybody wrapped me up and started trying to give me do for me. And Laura said, I have a therapist, massage therapist, I want you to, oh, okay, cool. In between shows on Wednesday when laid down on the table, met gun osp, laid down on the table and before I started, Gunilla asked me, is there anything I need to know before I get started? She said, I said, well, my father just died of suicide. She broke. I broke, and we began. And when she finished, she said, I know the perfect person for you. And that’s how I found my therapist. I was with her for about four years on and off. And initially, we did once a week, and thank God I was on Broadway, and was able to pay for her. But when I got in there, I recognized and started talking a mile a minute, and Dr. K, named Dr. Kornfield, got arrested. So I called her Dr. K. Dr. K said, Courtney, you don’t need to tell me everything today.

(10:29): But I realized this was my time, this was my time, and I could pay for it. And we worked off my dream. She challenged me and she said, I want you to get your dreams. And long story, I got my dreams and brought in 35 dreams to her. The next session, I mean a month two, has gone by, but 35 dreams. And so she said, Courtney, choose one. I said, really? So from somebody who didn’t know what to do, Dr. Robin, and if you listen and if you’re committed to the journey, to you, to our journey, we will be led. What we need to do and who we need to be with. But the main thing is you commit to me. You commit to commit to the journey. And by virtue of the journey, you will find out everything you need to find out. Dr. Robin, let’s say something real quick, and this leads me to a question to you, Dr. Robin, in seeking help, how do we seek help? Whether it be those that are depressed, those that are struggling with whatever it is they’re struggling with, how do we seek.

Dr. Robin Smith (11:39): Help? Anxiety, sometimes we think of depression and suicide. We don’t think about how anxious many people are, how afraid many people are. And I’m going to answer your question and roll it in to something you said. And Courtney said, you said you’re afraid almost to do the work, the hard work. I just want to remind us that suffering is a lot of work too. We’re just more familiar with how to suffer. And so I just want us to realize that it takes a lot of work and a lot of energy to suffer and to suffer silently and to be invisible how we find help. It’s interesting, Tony, because Courtney talked about Dr. K, and this is in The Invisible A invisible ache, our new book, which will be out on November 7th. Courtney had several other experiences, shall we say, with therapists who, and I’m happy to hold this up there.

(12:57): Courtney and I are so excited about it. And we’re excited not because for the sake of excitement, we’re excited because Black lives and Black Health Matters and we know that this is going to save lives. But Courtney had several therapists, Tony before, or several appointments with therapists who were, I’m just going to say it because we don’t have a lot of time to find nice words where it was [00:13:30] a disaster and a disaster because some people were intrigued with Courtney B Vance, who was on Broadway. And so they would love to have signed up as his therapist. There were people, there was a Black woman who therapist, because sometimes we think we need to find somebody who’s like us. So if I’m a Black man, I need to find a Black man. If I’m a Black woman, I need to find a Black woman. I ask this question when people have called me and said, I need, I’m also, they mentioned an ordained minister. So sometimes people will call and say, I need a Christian and I want to come to you because I heard you preaching. And I’ll say to them, if you needed heart surgery or brain surgery, would you ask if that person is a Christian or would you ask, can you get me off the table alive?

(14:26): This is how we find someone word of mouth. So we got to find people like you met Courtney. And so you might say like, okay, what was her name? And I know she’s going on, but who do we know in California? Now you’ve met me. So word of mouth. But because we’ve been ashamed as a people about getting help now we’ll borrow money for bail. We’ll tell people about all kinds of mess,] but we won’t say, I’m not sleeping well and I have these thoughts that I can’t get rid of and I can’t shake them. And so part of Tony, what we do is we find the right people. I didn’t say, just go ask anybody. Ask someone who looks like they’re doing their work. Who has told you that their child struggled? Courtney’s godson, 23 years young in 2020, died by suicide, vibrant, had loving parents, 23 would be 26 now and is gone. So we can’t keep these secrets about our suffering as if somehow we are ashamed of our humanity. All we’re doing is claiming that we are wholly] and fully human. Remember it was said that we were only three fifths. I don’t know if you all know that, that we were only partially human. So I don’t know what part they left off, but I do know here today that part of our divine birthright is that we reclaim our full humanity and that comes with being broken and being hurt and being resilient.

Tony Cornelius (16:32): Fantastic. Well, lemme say this. As you talk about that, let’s talk a little bit about recognizing, and particularly I’m going to send this over to Courtney. My experience, my father said to me weeks before he passed, well Tony, I don’t know how long I’m going to be here as a father, father tells you that you go, well, dad, what do you mean you don’t know how long you’re going to be here? Well, Tony, I just don’t know. Well, that goes [00:17:00] in one ear and out the other really. And then finally it happened, and then I understood. But to recognizing it is so, so difficult and so important at the same time. And I’m just wondering, Courtney, have you learned anything by this experience as far as recognizing some of those things amongst us? And this is not just for men, it’s for women as well.

(17:24): I don’t want people to think this is just for men. Women have the same thoughts we have. Well, I think we all know folks. We all know ourselves. And the difficult times that we go through, and the question is for me, always, what are we going to do about it? I mean, I didn’t know that there was something that I could do. Tony, Dr. Robin, I didn’t know what,] as I said, as when I got into therapy, I didn’t even know I needed to be in therapy because I was so used to doing things the way I had done things. So I think the largest step is to recognize that I need to talk to somebody or I would like to talk to somebody. And from talking to Dr. K as I related, I just started babbling because there was so much to you just do.

(18:40): And some people do, and don’t go where you can be recognized and they’re living life. I was blessed to be able to be successful in the career that chose me. [00:19:00] And a lot of times that’s enough. And if there’s some struggle that goes along with it, then you just got to learn how to deal with that. That’s just on you. You just got to learn. But the knowledge that I don’t just have to put up with the suffering, that there is something else other on the other side of suffering and the fact that we actually succeed or do well at our job or do, but [00:19:30] I’m not in abundance. I’m not old. I don’t feel well. And I think that’s everybody. I don’t just think that’s, I mean, we are told to give our cars a tuna and we go to the dentist every well, and we’re supposed to do our pap smears and colonoscopy Well, [00:20:00] and we’re supposed to take care of our physical cells, but this is a part of it.

(20:04): The mental health, it’s all about the battlefield is the mind. It’s all about the mind, the way as a person thinks in their mind. So they are. And the fact that our mental health is the last thing we pay attention to, but it’s the last thing that we think that we need to pay attention to because nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to say that. Say, yeah, you’re not dealing. Well, [00:20:30] please don’t talk to me about that. Okay, you’re struggling with what do you want me to do? You want me to pray for you? Okay, I’ll pray for you. And then I got to go. But what are we going to do about it? And that’s what our book is about. That the message from me, from my experience is that it came up on me and I didn’t know what to do, anything. But my mother, I love her again. Thank you, holy Spirit. My [00:21:00] mother said, my sister named is Cecily CEEs. And Courtney, when you go back find somebody, she didn’t tell me what to do. Dr. K didn’t tell me. She said, I want you to get your dreams. She didn’t tell me how to do it. She challenged me. Don’t challenge me.

Dr. Robin Smith (21:17): She also asked, are you patient? Yea.

Tony Cornelius (21:22): And the answer is no, Courtney, (21:25): He told the truth. He said, no, I’m not. And then what did she say? (21:29): She [00:21:30] said, well, do you have the patience to let the mud settle in the water and the water become clear? And I said, no. (21:46): I said, I got to go, Dr. K. I got to get going. I’m going to make a decision. She said, well, how do you make decisions, Courtney? I mean, just like everybody, right? And this is how you get yourself in trouble. You say, well, that is what everybody does, right? No. I said, well, I just like in acting, I just go for a choice. I make a choice. I flip a coin and just go for her. She said, that’s this is all information that she’s gleaning from me to see where we are. Where is this young man? What’s the next steps for this young man? How many sessions per week do we need to? Dr.

Robin Smith (22:28): And Tony, I want to say something [about your father’s cry. Father’s cry, his godson’s cry, his courage. Sometimes we say that people who die by suicide, they weren’t courageous. We blame them for running out of steam. We blame them or we blame ourselves or both for not having heard. But how would you ever have known, and this is something I want to remind us all. Yes. He said, I don’t think I’m going to be around much longer. That was a cry. But you could never have known that a few weeks or so later, his despair would

Tony Cornelius (23:25): Prevail. And my sister said the exact same thing. Yeah. I mean, my father said the exact same thing to  my sister. She said, daddy, we’re going to take care of you. Something like that. Something he said, oh no baby, you don’t need to take care of me. Something like that without coming out and saying it, right, without saying it. Trying

Dr. Robin Smith (23:43): To. Right. So we can’t know that. But what we can do with these new ears, we can begin to listen. I think about there are times when I’ve said, because when I’ve asked people, have you ever been suicidal? And people] are like, oh, not me. And I’m like, well, it depends on what you think suicidal thoughts are. Because I’ve thought what a blessing it would be when life was rawest for me not to see the sun again. So I didn’t have a plan, and I didn’t have a weapon, maybe, and I didn’t have but the ache in me. And I had people who loved me say, oh, you don’t want to say that. You don’t want to. No, I mean you have everything to live for, which makes the person who is aching even exactly ache more.

Tony Cornelius (24:43): Let me cut in by saying I don’t know how much more time we have, but let’s talk a little bit about reclaiming. Let’s talk about how we can get better. How do we find ourselves again, and what do we have to do to reclaim our lives?

Dr. Robin Smith (25:03): Yeah, our birthright. Courtney’s mother, in terms of getting resources, everyone can’t afford a private therapist. But there are universities, and I want everyone to know this, that have counseling programs. I was working in one, and they have sliding scales. Sometimes it’s free. You can get some of the best care in these centers because people are training with some of the best clinicians. So I want to remind us that there are community mental health centers all around the country. There are universities all around the country, but Courtney’s mother, I call her, she was a fierce lion Mama Vance. And what I want to remind us is of this, when we say to our children, do what I say, not what I do, it doesn’t work. There’s a quote that says The lion’s story will never be known as long as the hunter is the one to tell it.

(26:02): So when you said, where do we start? We start, the lion’s story will never be known as long as the hunter is the one to tell it. And so we start Tony by telling our stories to someone safe, someone who understands that this is holy ground. Someone who can tolerate [not having the answers and can let the water get really messy and the mud to settle, and they don’t need you to be okay when you’re not. So we start by telling our story to someone who can bear and we don’t feel like it’s too much for them to carry. They’re going to be up at night. It’s so, so important that the beginning is for the lion to tell his or her own story to some person or community where it is safe. Sometimes it’s the barbershop. It is sometimes in that chair where someone says, man, how are you? And you say, I’m not well. And they don’t shut you down. They say, well, what’s happening? Tell me more. This is the line I want to feed you. When someone tells you they are hurting, don’t try and fix it. Ask them to tell you more. So you’re at your wits end. You think you may not be here much longer. Tell me more. Because you can’t reassure someone about their ache. Ask them to tell you more.

Tony Cornelius (28:02): It’s interesting as I listen to you, there are times when people come to me who are in pain, but I think what happens is we’re so involved in ourself that we don’t hear it. And I’ve had friends that come to me and say, Tony, I’m having some thoughts. And because I understand that, I dig in immediately, but there’s so many people who don’t have that experience. And the interesting thing is that those who don’t have that experience, it goes in one ear, right out the other. I don’t know if you’ve experienced that as well, but here’s what I want to do. If I came to you and told you I was a certain kind of way, what would you say to me

Dr. Robin Smith (28:50): If you said to me that you were feeling depressed and thinking of taking your life or just depressed? I’d ask, tell me [] what’s that depression look like? How does it show up in your everyday life? How does it show up in your eating and in your sleeping? How does it show up? Is there any joy in your life? And what I’ve found, Tony, is when we hear Black men don’t go to therapy, I’m like, I don’t know what Black men people are talking about. Because if you create a safe space for a Black man to tell his story, he’ll talk. He’ll keep talking. He won’t stop talking. You’ll have to remind him that we can do this next week and do it again the following week. And so I would make space to let that man know that we can make this journey together. I’d also ask if someone’s talking about not wanting to live, [00:30:00] whether or not they have a plan. We need to know, have people, how far has someone thought out not being here? So, instead of being afraid, again, I don’t want to ask because that might put the thought in their head. That’s the lie. You don’t put that thought in someone’s head. You help someone express what is already happening inside of them.

Tony Cornelius (30:30): [00:30:30] Well, we’ve got a couple of minutes left, and I want Courtney to say, just give us a few words on the way out. I was just sitting thinking about what you were saying, doc, and one of the things that, the thoughts that are in our mind that as long as it’s taken for the thoughts to get in our minds, it’s going to take an equal] amount of the quote, suicidal thoughts. It’s going to take an equal amount. They said it takes three weeks or so to change habits. So one of the things that helps me is finding those things, that finding the joy. I like to ride my bike. I have e-bikes now, and when I’m riding my bike, my mind goes somewhere else, and it’s not running. I had a total [knee replacement on my knees, so I can’t be running like I used to anymore.

(31:34): But I can ride my bike, I can ride my scooter. I like to listen to books. So I read more now than I have. And once, it’s another thing, something that I can do for my mind that it’s not some loose drugs, not cigarettes, it’s not coffee, it’s not drinking. It’s something. Find something that you love to do and do it. Find something that brings you joy, that’s simple, that’s not expensive, something that’s doable. And if it’s walking for you, just get out and walk. Maybe sometimes you can’t walk in your neighborhood, I get it. But find something to do. Get on the bus and go to a neighborhood where you can walk around just to make sure it’s not Beverly Hills because they don’t let you walk around that neighborhood. I know. [00:32:30] Don’t come back and say, Courtney said, how’d you go to Beverly Hills and walk around? What are you doing here? Courtney B. Vance and I should walk around to Beverly Hills. Don’t be going to Beverly Hills and walking around. Okay, I’m, that’s all I’m saying, ladies and gentlemen, the invisible ache. Did we give him something to go out with? Don’t go to Beverly Hills. We having so much fun in here, Courtney. He doesn’t want to go home. He doesn’t want to go home. But I want to introduce this book, the Invisible Ache, Black Men Identifying Their Pain and Reclaiming Their Power. Courtney b Vance, and Dr. Robin l Smith.

Dr. Robin Smith (33:08): Thank you. And thank you, Tony. I mean, I know we need to end, but I really want to thank you and thank Courtney for this moment because what I know for sure, I know this for sure, that there are Black men and women all around the country who are going to find the right person to say, ouch. I hurt. And it will save lives. It will save lives. And we will remember in your father’s honor and in your father’s honor that they paid so that other Black men, their sons and others, and Black women of course too, but our Black boys and our Black men, so they can live and live abundantly. So thank you. Oh, for Tony Cornelius (34:05): Question, I was told there was a q and a, but I’m not sure. Dr. Robin Smith (34:09): Hi. Okay. My name is Re Bryant. I am a licensed clinician in la. I’ve been practicing for about 15 years, so I’m happy we’re doing this segment today. I also run a nonprofit that sponsors Black men to get licensed clinical support from other [00:34:30] Black men. We’re actively doing that program right now, so I just wanted to put that out there. If there are African American men who are looking to get mental health support, you may not have insurance or what have you. We are running a program right now where we will cover it for free, eight sessions completely free. So if you want to come to find me afterward, please come and talk to me. If you are looking for a therapist for ongoing support, I have a private practice in la Brian [00:35:00] counseling.com. CCG for you.org is a nonprofit. So, I just wanted to put that out there. I’m glad you guys are doing this work.

(35:08): You

Courtney B. Vance (35:10): Quick comment and then a question. Really, thank you for this space. I have a history of attempted suicides from age six to 20. I’m 22 now, so I’m about just 22 in August, so a year and some change of those stocks and attempts outside of me, [00:35:30] just thanks to especially Ms. Culley, she’s the executive director of Sanctuary of Hope, who she creates a space and opportunities where we can receive therapy and heal for former foster youth and former homeless youth. So that just as I’m at this, the question, just as I’m in this period of healing and whatnot when it comes to vulnerability, how do you [00:36:00] all engage in that without the thought of there being a sabotage in the future or that paranoia of it coming back to bite you.

Dr. Robin Smith (36:13): And tell us your name again?

Courtney B. Vance (36:15): Nathaniel. Nathaniel. Nathaniel.

Dr. Robin Smith (36:17): Let me say this. You are every piece of courage to be whole. I mean, you are [00:36:30] everything. I mean, you are Nathaniel, you are. And I’m not minimizing that your life from six to 22 has been painful and traumatic, but you are the living testimony that with those attempted suicides, because attempted suicides, and you know this even better than I do, it’s a pain. It is that invisible [00:37:00] ache. And so when you talk about vulnerability, if we, you, me, and those in this room understand that vulnerability is part of your superpower, you could not, and you didn’t have to say anything. You didn’t have to say a word. So I want to ensure that you understand that everyone in this room and around the country understands that vulnerability, [00:37:30] if shared with the right people, is our superpower. And if we make the mistake of trusting someone unworthy, we’ve all done that. I’ve told things to people that I’m sorry, I told them because they’ve taken my vulnerability and used it against me. But that’s okay because as long as I’m learning, it’s not a failure. It’s [00:38:00] just feedback telling me, don’t do that again with that person. And so what you are doing is you are living right now showing us exactly what it looks like to be strong and mighty and vulnerable in your power.

Tony Cornelius (38:25): My father was a foster child, and [00:38:30] thought that his mother didn’t want him. And because he thought his mother didn’t want him at the base core, when things got rough, he was unmoored. Eventually, he had enough, and there was no long story here. He had enough, and he took himself out. But we found out that his mother was looking for him. And if he had just been able to hold on, and I found out [00:39:00] that me, he held on long enough to, I knew I was loved and unconditionally that he was at everything, every event, every sporting event, everything. He was there. My mother was there. He couldn’t do it for me. He wasn’t done for him, but he did it for my sister and me, and then he did it for me so that I could find out that my vulnerability, when I found acting, [00:39:30] I found that I can use my vulnerability, as you had said, as power. Your superpower, my superpower. Vulnerability in acting is a superpower. If you’ve got that, you’ve got it. People are, oh, Courtney, I wish, how do you, it’s like, but baby, that’s my superpower.

(39:54): That’s my superpower. And so you keep, I will stand up for you. You [00:40:00] keep on going. You keep, you just keep going. Don’t you stop and find something positive? You find somebody to talk to so that when those thoughts come up in your head again, you got positive things to say, get away from me so that you end up one day sitting up here with a mic [00:40:30] on a couch with a testimony. That’s what you got. You got a testimony. So you see all this, use that for when things get rough again. Because they will. Oh, tomorrow it’s going to be up on you. So you have to arm yourself to get ready for the fight. That’s what it is. It’s just a fight. And just because you get their thoughts, you see all

[00:41:00] These people have been here.

(41:01): Every one of us has those thoughts. The question is, what you going to do about ’em? And I say, tell ’em to go somewhere. You got somewhere to go. No. With that being said, I want you to know we love you. Amen. And I felt you before you got on that microphone. Okay? And I love you. I don’t even know you and I love you. Amen. And there’s so many other people that love you, man. Okay? [00:41:30] And if my father were here today, I’d tell him the same thing You so keep doing what you’re doing and I love how you got up there and spoke out and keep speaking out. Okay?

Speaker 5 (41:46): I think they

Tony Cornelius (41:47): Said that we ain’t got to go home, but Speaker 6 (41:49): I think they right. You don’t have to go home, but you must leave here. We want to tell you that, by the way, hope is, hold on. Pain ends hope. [00:42:00] Hold on. Pain ends. And a lot of times we don’t know whether we’re anxious, we’re depressed. We have thoughts. We don’t know what to do with, hold on, hold on. Pain. That’s hope. Just remember, hold on. Pain. And so we have a question.

Speaker 5 (42:21): My name is Ted Booker, and I work for an unapologetically Black agency called the Ahmad Institute. We are intersectional peer support, behavior, health [00:42:30], and wellness organization. You can get therapy from us for free. We’re in South la. We’re in Watts. Wonderful. It’s called the Ahma Institute. You can get on our list and you can receive therapy for free without insurance.

Speaker 6 (42:46): Wonderful. And say the name again so everyone

Speaker 5 (42:48): Can, the Ahma Institute. It’s an acronym for Arming Minorities Against Addiction and Disease. And I just had a quick statement because this is a great beginning, but there’s one thing in Black culture [00:43:00] current day that we still have to deal with that deals with this subject matter. You don’t know Black culture if you don’t know that Black women run Black culture and lead Black culture. However, one of the things that is happening today is that I engage with young people a lot. So much stuff happens to Black males that they get protected, and our females are raised. So the other disparity like this between men and women, when you look at socioeconomic status, education, head of household [00:43:30], and Black culture between males and females, it looks like this. (43:35): And you can’t do anything in Black culture without our women. Even if she’s supporting. Amen. You cannot. I’ll say it again. You cannot do anything in Black culture without our women. And that’s a direct result of slavery, what slavery did to us in this country. And there are so many things associated with that that we have not the stigmas that we have not dealt with, but where do we begin in terms of, we [00:44:00] still need to protect, but where do we begin with raising our boys where they could be on an equal playing field with our women because our young ladies are being taught to survive and take care of themselves. Their counterparts look like this. Speaker 6 (44:19): Absolutely. Yeah. Thank you so much for that. So I’m supposed to tell you there is a QR code. QR code [00:44:30] was put together today for the invisible ache. It’s on your screen. You can pre-order the book right now. You can buy the book. We want you to do that. The book is also on audio. Courtney and I recorded the book, so you can buy it now. Go to that QR code and purchase the Invisible A. It’s about saving lives and our community. Thank [00:45:00] you so much, and God bless you. Thank.

The post The Invisible Ache: Black Men Identifying Their Pain and Reclaiming Their Power appeared first on Black Health Matters.

The post Do You Have the Heart? Arm Yourself Against Diabetes and Cardiovascular Risks! appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Check out these recruiting trials: Funded by Bristol Myers Squibb.

The post Adrienne Nicole Talks Lupus Advocacy & Clinical Trials appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Melanoma, also referred to as malignant melanoma or cutaneous melanoma, emerges when melanocytes, the cells responsible for producing melanin, the pigment accountable for tan and brown complexions, undergo uncontrolled growth. In this informative presentation, we will delve into the various aspects of melanoma, including its causes, symptoms, detection, and treatment options.

Learn more about available clinical trials here.

The post Melanin & Melanoma with Dr. Hope Mitchell – PART 1 appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Featured:
Tony Cornelius
Cassandra Cantave
Yolo Akili Robinson

To stay up to date on all Summit related information, please sign-up for our BHM Summit Newsletter: https://bit.ly/BHMSummitInfo.

Make sure to like and subscribe to show that #blackhealthmatters!

The post Mental Health is Important to Everyone in Our Community a Discussion Across Gender and Age appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Sponsored by Amgen

Featured Speakers:
Reema Dirks, PharmD
Chrissy Carter

The post Learn To Understand and Manage Severe Asthma & Representation in Clinical Research at Amgen appeared first on Black Health Matters.

The Academy of Continuing Healthcare and BHM invite you to join us and Dr. Rachel Villanueva, MD/FACOG Rosh Maternal Fetal Medicine, PC, for an in depth discussion on endometriosis, it’s symptoms and finding care.

You will also hear from a patient advocate and most important, have the opportunity to share your experience in getting diagnosed and finding care. You do not have to suffer in silence!

Make sure to like and subscribe to show that #blackhealthmatters!

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Black Health Matters, (www.blackhealthmatters.com) is a digital health communications and patient event engagement firm that was founded in 2012. Black Health Matters (BHM) is an award-winning, premier web site that empowers thousands each week with information on the management of chronic disease. We deliver a highly personalized content experience that makes healthy behaviors relevant within the context of our visitors’ lives. Our Black Health Matters Summit brings world-class medical doctors, advocates and other medical professionals in dialogue with communities on the science of disease and management of chronic illness.

The post End(o) the stigma | #endometriosis appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Recorded Live in front of our Newark audience at the 2023 Black Health Matters Spring Summit. 

The post Spot the Signs and Symptoms Of Breast Cancer #BHMSummits appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Cynthia Bailey (Real Housewives Of Atlanta) shares her story of dealing with fibroids. Learning she had them after the birth of her daughter, they had begun to grow. It affected her in many ways and was always on the celebrity “baby bump” list because of the changes it had made to her body. When she finally had the procedure done, the ones removed were the size of an orange. Today, she is fibroid free and continues the conversation to help women have a better quality of life.

Dr. Julianne Adams Birt speaks about the shock that some women face when discovering they have fibroids. She explains that genetic history and knowledge of fibroids can help women to know that there may be a problem. She also delves into the disproportionate number of Black women with fibroids and the preventative measures they should be taking with their doctors.

Dr. Anita Johnson echoes these sentiments and urges viewers to persist when they feel symptoms. Don’t ignore it out of fear or discomfort. She pushes for women to have a strong relationship with their doctors.

Then M.J. Collier Jr. Speaks about the importance of finding the right healthcare provider, who answers questions rather than pushing a patient out in seven minutes. He asks that everyone be their own advocate.

The post Let’s Talk About Women’s Health Fibroids, Cancers, and More appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Ali was surprised by her haunting experience and how common it actually is within the Black community. Between systemic racism and bias, she found herself in a situation that did not feel safe. She discusses being coerced into an epidural, getting pinned down, and listening to screaming. The scene played out unlike anything she imagined and Tatiana found herself in shocking positions, including one with a doctor climbing on her bed, that left her feeling squeezed “like a bottle of toothpaste.” It was then that she realized no one there could help her.

That’s when they pushed her son back inside of her.

It is that part of the story that gets a stark reaction and that’s the part of the story that truly spotlights the importance of sharing her experience. The fallout left her son with medical issues and a stay in the NICU.

The video also features commentary from birth doula Denise Bolds. Bolds offers her own unique perspective on this important issue. She highlights the problems and the potential solutions for those women entering this crucial part of their birthing journey. She showcases exactly what Black women need in order to have the safe space they deserve.

The post Advocating for a Healthy and Respectful Birthing Experience appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Throughout the session, the panel delves into topics such as the stigma around mental health, access to mental health resources, generational trauma, and practical advice for improving mental health and wellness. Each panelist brings a unique perspective to the table, offering valuable insights and strategies for overcoming these challenges.

If you’re looking to gain a deeper understanding of mental health in the black community, this video is a must-watch. Join Shanti Das, Lynette Shaw, and Randy Sconiers, DSW, LCSW for an engaging and informative discussion on Mental Health.

The post A Black Mental Health Discussion appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Featuring: Tony Cornelius, Cassandra Cantave, and Yolo Akili Robinson.

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The post Mental Health is Important to Everyone in Our Community a Discussion appeared first on Black Health Matters.

Featuring: Sarah Y. Vinson, MD Sherri Broadwater, MD Dr. Contessa Metcalfe,MD, MSPH and Sharnell Myles, PsyD, LPC, CPCS, CCTP.

The post Breaking the Stigma About Mental Health appeared first on Black Health Matters.

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The post Protected: Having Trouble Managing Your Asthma? Let’s Talk About It appeared first on Black Health Matters.